I don’t know that there is really anything big to update on, at least that anyone would care about, but I’m going through some things in my head and need to write them down try to figure them out. This is more of a Skyler post than an informational post, so unless you’re a chronic pain sufferer, really like me (thanks) or are seriously that bored, you can feel free to tune out and wait for the next useful post (coming soon).

I’ve just been spending some time freshly researching chronic daily headaches because I am trying to isolate the types of headaches I have to try to treat them individually instead of as a whole big mess as I have been so far in my life. There are 3 primary types of chronic headaches; tension-type, migraine and new daily persistent. As I was going through the different symptoms of each, I noticed that I have pieces of each, but they don’t match up.

Tension is across the front of the head, feels like pressure or tightness from both sides of the head and is not made worse by physical activity. Yeah, I have that almost daily, but I also have times when I get migraine symptoms (weakness, gets worse with basically any movement, sensitivity to light, sound and smell), but they say that it is supposed to be only on one side of the head and be a pulsating or throbbing pain. I do get that pain, but not at the same time the migraine symptoms, usually!

My migraine pain comes mostly in the back, but also definitely in the front, of my head. I’ve learned to determine it by shaking my head or holding my breathe. If I do either of these with migraine pain, it gets significantly worse for an undetermined period of time. These were less common until the past year or so when they’ve been getting significantly harsher and much more frequent.

The problem is that I have already been diagnosed with Persistent Daily Headache, which does not exactly fit either of those pains. Another problem is that my headaches sometimes fit the description of cluster headaches; sharp pain in one part of the head, often over one eye. It basically feels like someone is trying to push a knife through my eye from the inside of my skull, if that makes any sense.

Are they seriously trying to tell me I have every type of headache in the book?? How can that possibly be? And how can I possibly isolate the pain to treat it if it is all going on at once?!? According to their definitions, I have been disabled for decades! Apparently, if you are only getting by day to day with Advil or prescription pain relievers, you’re not actually functioning properly in life… Go figure.

While that makes sense, when someone tells me I’ve been disabled for 22 years and I’m just finding out now, I just want to punch them in the face and curse at them vehemently. I’m told that one isn’t a proper response to life, either. I’m 0 for 2.

None of this is really important. I’m going without sleep because no matter how tired I am, my body just refuses to shut off. I’ll be back to my happy self after a bong rip and and a nap, but I just felt the need to vent.

This is NOT going to be an advertised post and I’d like it to remain that way. I appreciate anyone who comes to read this nonsense since it gives me an outlet and maybe a little understanding from those of you with similar conditions, but I don’t need or want pity. I got this far in life through sheer force of will with some help from Pfizer. I’m not helpless. I just needed to get out some frustration and writing is the best way I know how to do that.

I’m not even going to proof this post. Don’t hold it against me. Thanks for reading.